Me: I love you.
You: I know.
You will know. When you'll be alone for a moment and you'll look around.
You will know. When you'll look at the paintings on the wall drawn by my hands. And even if you take them away, you will still know.
When you'll look in the kitchen, you will know.
When you'll see the tablecloth that I chose, on the table that you are sitting on now, you will know.
When you'll look at the planters and the balcony, you will know.
When you'll look at the house that you renovated to my liking. With the black elements that I chose. With the built-in closet… that's when you'll know.
When you'll meet another woman, and she'll be angry for being ignored because you are unavailable because you are cold as a stone, you will know.
And if she doesn't care about it, then you will know.
When you bring her home, to the bedroom where I slept. On the bedclothes that I picked. The ones you bought with me, for me… you will know.
You will know that my soul stayed there.
You will know that I am still present.
You will know that above all, I needed a friend and huge support, which I didn't get.
You will know that I deserved one hell of an answer this past month.
You will know that your lack of communication was our problem.
You will know exactly what words you should have said but didn't.
You will know that we required some time and patience, and you didn't have it.
You will know that the issue was that you were not ready for a family.
You will know that by picking not to think about me, you won't be able to forget me.
You will know that despite my imperfections, my heart is still as big as a mountain.
You will know that love like mine can only be found once in a lifetime.
And you will know that you found it and let it go.
And only that will remain for you. The knowledge of the one true love that fought against the world for you, and you let it go.
And you will know, at that moment, that you have made a big mistake… you will know.
And while everyone struggles to find their life partner, some succeed and some… well, they just pretend they have.
And then you will remember.
You will remember that I gave you the key to my apartment. Not to help you, but because I wanted it to be our apartment. Because in your eyes, I saw HOME.
And then you will remember.
For everyone, family comes first. You were the first for me. Because a home is just a place where the heart is, and mine always followed you blindly.
And then you will remember.
I didn't come to ski because I wanted to, I came because the happiness and excitement in your voice told me much more than your “Do you want to go?.”
And then you will remember.
That there is no greater fighter than me. I didn't just fight against my own people, I fought with myself.
I fought to get out of the darkness in which I was wrapped.
I struggled to stand up again.
I fought to bring back the happy and cheerful Emerara that everyone would love to have around.
I even got rid of the cigarettes, and now I can happily say, “Thanks, I don't smoke.”
I fought, and I finally succeeded!
This isn't any attempt to get you back.
This is… a story about two people who loved each other very much and taught each other a lesson: what is love… or what is not love.
You will understand one day. And then you will remember.
You will remember what true love means. You will remember what true love is willing to do. And then you will know. You will know that true love only has one name…
Emerara.
*This text is the first one I dared to read in front of someone.
No one remained indifferent, and that gave me back the confidence I had lost a long time ago.
All those honest reactions, and teary eyes, inspired me to start my own blog.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, this blog would not exist without you!
Disclaimer:
The stories are seasoned with a lot of drama, and the characters are fictional because the drama starts when logic ends. ☺
Click to shop the Broken Monologue drawing.
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